June 20th: All things

Well, Monday may very well have been the hardest day, followed very closely by Thursday. But I'm pretty sure today ranks right up there in the hardest day department too. One of the negatives of living 400 miles from my family has always been when it came time to leave. Don't get me wrong. I love where we live. I love my corner of the world for SO many reasons. But it has always been hard to leave home (part of that might be because of Mom's health, who knows). But today, man leaving today was hard. Really, really, really hard. Really hard. We left the house (after very long good byes, tears, hugs, more hugs and even more hugs) and headed to get Roger's mom so we could have lunch with her. I am so glad that we did that. It was wonderful for me to get a hug from her and for all of us to spend a little (not enough) time with her. She's a very special woman to me and always has been.

Before we went to lunch, the girls found snails on Gammy's porch. Ok, we have snails in the DFW area, but NOTHING like these guys. The girls were SO impressed with the size of these guys.

Brooke even held them (Briana tried, but the slimy side hit her hand and that was enough of that holding of large snails for her, thank-you-very-much!)
Brooke wasn't having the sliminess either, but she would hold them by the shells.

I like this one - I'm thinking this snail is thinking, "DUDE! You're upside down!"

After they played with the snails for a while, they decided (perhaps with some encouragement from all of us) to see if the snails would like to go for a swim (what?! snails destroy flowers and they were in my MIL's flower beds!)

Here they go - plopping them in the water and watching them tumble down the street.

About now is when the girls decided they wanted to try to catch the snails again (which made for some really good laughs, considering the snails' shells were now wet and very slippery and neither girl wanted to actually touch the slimy body of the snail)

They didn't catch the snails, but they did have a good time trying. And we had a wonderful time with my MIL.

Then it was time to hit the road again. Saying goodbye was harder than ever, but Roger says it still is that way for him, so I'm not expecting that to subside any time soon.

As we were driving home, I was grateful that Roger was in his truck in front of me. So many times I just wanted to turn around and go back, but keeping him in my sights in front of me kept me on course and kept me chugging toward home. He was my beacon that kept beckoning me home. And it was very much needed. I couldn't help but notice the clouds as I was driving home. It rained off and on for the biggest part of the drive. I kept looking at the dark clouds around us and appreciating their beauty and respecting the darkness and the rain and looking way off in the distance at the thin blue streak of happy, blue sky.

I kept thinking those clouds were very representative of me and how I'm feeling. I'm grey, I'm dark and I'm weeping. I have to respect and appreciate those feelings because that reflects how much I love my mom and how very lost I am without her near me physically (I know she's with me always and I know that I will see her again in Heaven). But I also see, somewhere in the very distant horizon, a thin blue streak of happiness. I know it's there. I can see it and so many others have told me that I will get there. So I'm setting my sights on that blue sky of happiness. Sure it's changed - it has been impacted by the dark, grey rain clouds. But it's happiness all the same. I'm aiming for that happiness. I'm driving toward it. And all the while, I'm appreciating the rain around me. And I'm thankful for it too.